


That Thing Where You Fall In Love With Your Best Friend

by Thats_Amore



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Demiromantic America (Hetalia), Demisexual America (Hetalia), Developing Relationship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Mentioned Arophobia, Mentioned Canada (Hetalia), Mentioned Japan (Hetalia), Past Belgium/South Italy (Hetalia), Past Prussia/South Italy (Hetalia), Questioning, Requited Love, Roommates, Suggestive Themes, mentioned acephobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:34:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28681896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thats_Amore/pseuds/Thats_Amore
Summary: Alfred needs to come out to his roommates as demisexual and demiromantic and explain that he's not aroace as he had once told them. He's nervous, because his feelings for one of his roommates are the reason he began questioning his orientation in the first place.
Relationships: America & Lithuania & South Italy (Hetalia), America/South Italy (Hetalia)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	That Thing Where You Fall In Love With Your Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

> I often think of America as demisexual and demiromantic while I'm writing him, and I was inspired to write a story where Alfred explicitly labels himself as such by the stories and fanart I saw on [asexual-hetalia](https://asexual-hetalia.tumblr.com). I borrowed the headcanon of Japan as asexual and gray-romantic from TempestuousSerenity's excellent fic [Maybe Someday](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20353912). The plot point of America mistaking his jealousy for biphobia was inspired by the [the famous Reddit story](https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/straight-guy-worries-hes-homophobic-gay-roommate-ends-falling-love/) of the "straight" guy who fell in love with his gay roommate.
> 
> There are references to acephobia, arophobia, and homophobia from Alfred's parents (who don't actually appear in the fic). Alfred and Savino don't go further than kissing, but the descriptions of Alfred getting turned on were too explicit for me to feel comfortable giving this story a Teen rating. As with my last story, I am using Savino for Romano's human name.

Alfred has already gone through this conversation a couple of times, so in theory he should be ready to talk to his roommates, but part of him really, really isn’t. He knows they will be supportive, just like Matthew and Kiku were, even if they can’t fully understand everything he’s going through right now. Tolys and Savino won’t be like Alfred’s parents, who, when he came out to them as aroace, told Alfred he should just admit he was gay (and didn’t listen when he repeatedly told them that wasn’t the case). He won’t mind answering Tolys’s and Savino’s questions, just like he hadn’t minded answering questions from Matthew a couple weeks ago. Mattie was completely allosexual and alloromantic, so he needed more information to understand what his brother meant when he said he thought he might be demisexual and demiromantic instead of aroace, as he had previously believed. Because Kiku was gray-romantic and asexual himself, he was better able to understand where Alfred was coming from. He’d also been able to empathize with the distress that accompanied questioning your identity and trying to put a label on yourself, especially after you’d already gone through that process once.

Maybe it would be easier to talk to Tolys alone. Tolys isn’t the person making Alfred question his entire orientation and making him want things he’d never even contemplated before. But he wouldn’t be experiencing all this emotional turmoil over Savino and what exactly he feels towards him if they weren’t such close friends in the first place. Savino deserves to know the truth too, even if telling him will be more nerve-wracking than telling his brother or a friend he actually views in a completely platonic way.

When Tolys gets home from his volunteer job coaching an intramural middle school basketball team, Alfred says that he wants to talk to him and Savino about something important later. Tolys nods and says that he’ll be ready to talk as soon as Savino gets home. He leaves to take a shower and change into regular clothes, just like he normally does after basketball practice, and Alfred idly flips through the TV channels in the living room until he settles on a sitcom that was cancelled a decade ago.

The shower isn’t running anymore by the time Savino returns home. Instead of unlocking the door, he knocks and tells Alfred he needs help to get inside. Alfred opens the door wide enough that Savino barely brushes past him as he carries a large, half-painted canvas through the doorway, but the incidental contact makes him feel jittery, like that time he needed to pull an all-nighter and drank an entire pot of coffee all by himself. As Savino walks through the living room, Alfred bites the inside of his cheek and accidentally checks his friend out, gaze wandering from Savino’s strong shoulders to his cute round butt and down to his short but powerful legs.

When Alfred realizes what he’s doing, he gulps and sits back down on the couch. He still feels mortified and guilty when Savino returns to the room, and he’s sure his face reflects this.

Savino raises his eyebrows as he joins Alfred on the couch. “Are you okay, caro? You look a little flushed.”

“I’m fine,” Alfred squeaks out. He clears his throat. “I’m fine. I just need to talk to you and Tolys about something, and I’m nervous.”

“Okay. Whatever it is, you know you can tell us anything, right?”

Alfred nodded. “Of course.”

Savino scoots closer to him and pats him on the forearm, and Alfred’s stomach fills with a swarm of butterflies. Savino has always been more touchy-feely than his other friends, and that has never bothered Alfred. It’s part of his Italian culture, and back when Alfred really did view Savino as just his friend, the contact was comforting in a purely platonic way. It’s still comforting, but now a cheek kiss or even as something as brief as a quick pat on the arm makes Alfred’s skin feel warm and tingly. It makes him desire something more, which is a new, confounding experience for him.

Alfred glances up when he hears Tolys entering the room. His hair is tousled and still damp from the shower, and he’s wearing a sweater with jeans. Alfred notices these details, but they form no lingering, heart-twisting impression, like they would if Savino was the one who had emerged from the shower with damp hair. While Tolys was taking a shower, Alfred only hoped he would finish quickly so he could start this difficult conversation sooner rather than later. If Savino had been taking a shower, Alfred would have been preoccupied with the fact that Vinny was naked in a nearby room, with water flowing down his chest, soaping himself up…

Alfred abruptly coughs into his hand and crosses one leg over the other. He needs to stay focused. Thinking about Savino naked and showering is way, way too distracting. It’s weird as hell that he would even think of things like that, and the way his body can react to thoughts like that is not something he wants to deal with right now, especially in front of both his roommates.

Alfred manages to calm himself down by the time Tolys takes a seat next to him on the opposite side of Vinny.

“You mentioned wanting to talk to us about something?” Tolys prompts.

“I did.” Alfred picks the remote off the coffee table and quickly flips off the television. But he keeps the remote so that he’ll have something to fidget with as he talks. “You guys remember when I told you I was aroace? This happened like a couple months after we all started living together.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Savino says. “You said sex and romance just weren’t your thing. You weren’t into anybody like that, and you never had been.” Tolys nods along with a thoughtful look on his face.

Alfred releases a shuddery breath. “Right. See, I thought that was true at the time, but I’ve been re-evaluating some stuff over the past few months. And it turns out, maybe I’m not as asexual or aromantic as I thought I was.” Alfred laughs, but it sounds more like hysterical wheezing than anything resembling genuine amusement. He’s pretty damn close to crying, or at least having a panic attack, which would be incredibly humiliating.

Tolys gives him a worried look. “Alfred, it’s okay. Savi and I aren’t going to judge you for your sexual orientation, whatever it is.”

“That would be pretty fucking hypocritical since we’re both bi and don’t like people pulling that shit on us.”

Alfred counts to ten in his head and manages to stop freaking out enough to talk. “I know, it’s just… I think part of me was worried you guys would think I was lying to you, because of what I said before. When I came out to them, my parents were convinced I was gay and that the whole aroace thing was something I’d made up because I didn’t want to _really_ come out of the closet. My dad made a shitty joke about me reproducing like a plant.”

Tolys frowns sympathetically. “That sounds incredibly invalidating. I’m sorry your parents treated you like that.”

Savino looks like he’s ready to go punch someone on Alfred’s behalf. “Even if you are gay, what they did was really fucking wrong. Why the hell would you have kids if you’re not gonna listen when they tell you something important about themselves?”

“I don’t know, Vinny. I think that gay people were something in their frame of reference, and aroace people weren’t.” Alfred glances down at his hands and twists the TV remote around a couple times. “I think, for them, me being gay would be the second, crappier option. They want me to be ‘normal’ like Mattie, and they would be disappointed if I ended up with a guy. But I guess that would be less disappointing than me not ending up with anybody at all, or in some QPR thing they don’t understand.”

Savino huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Well, whatever their excuses were, they were being total cazzo di merdas, so fuck ‘em.”

Tolys chuckles at this, and Alfred laughs a little too. He wants to hug both of his best friends, but the urge to hug Savino is stronger. He looks like an adorable, grumpy dragon, and the Italian profanity is much cuter than it has any right to be. If he did hug Savino, he’s not sure he would ever be able to let go.

Alfred’s laughter dies away when he realizes how internally sappy he’s getting, and he fidgets with the remote for a few more seconds before he sets it back down on the coffee table. Having something to occupy his hands isn’t helping with his nerves anyway.

Tolys is the first one to speak up. “So, what does this mean for you? If that’s not too personal a question.”

Alfred heaves out a sigh. “I’m not sure. I’m still not completely allo, either way, so getting into a relationship would be different for me than for most people. I’ve been questioning this for a while, and I think I’m demisexual and demiromantic.”

Savino’s brow creases in confusion. “Demisexual? Is that the thing where people fall in love with their best friend?”

“No, I think you’re mixing up sexual and romantic attraction,” Tolys replies. “What you’re talking about would be demiromantic. Alfred’s that too, but they’re different things.”

“You guys are both kinda off,” Alfred says, interrupting before they can speculate any further, heart thudding at the fact Savi was the one who brought up _falling in love with your best friend_. “It’s not… it’s not automatic that I’ll like someone that way, even if I’m really close to them.” He’s also extremely close to Kiku and Tolys, but he doesn’t have any feelings towards them that would be considered unusual for a platonic friendship. “But I can develop those kinds of feelings, if I’ve known someone a really long time and have a really strong emotional connection to them.”

“Did you develop feelings for someone?” Savino asks quietly. “Is that how you figured out you could?”

Alfred is too scared and overwhelmed to verbalize it. All he can do is nod sheepishly. He gazes up at Savino for a long moment, and the misery in his eyes must communicate what he doesn’t have enough courage to say. Savino gasps, his cheeks redden, and his eyes grow wide. He is obviously shocked, but Alfred takes a small amount of comfort in the fact that he doesn’t look appalled.

“H-how? When did—”

Alfred smiles weakly. “I don’t know. By the time I started to realize it, it was already happening.”

Tolys gets off the couch and beats a hasty retreat towards the front door. “I think I’ll go, take a walk around the neighborhood. Unless you guys want me to stay?”

Savino is too shell-shocked to respond. Alfred briefly glances in Tolys’s direction long enough to shake his head, letting him know he can leave, which is clearly what he wants to do anyway. Tolys pockets his cell phone and his keys and exits the apartment, shutting the door behind him. 

Savino runs his hand through his hair as soon as the door closes. “This is probably the last thing I ever expected to hear you say. You have a thing for me?”

“At this point, it’s a lot bigger than just a thing. I, um, think Imightbeinlovewithyou.” Alfred mumbled that last part quickly, but Savino clearly heard him. Somehow, his face turns even redder. The resemblance to his homemade tomato sauce, which tastes much better than any brand name tomato sauce from the grocery store, is uncanny.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. _Oh_.”

Savino needs time to process this news, and Alfred wants to give him that time, but the silence immediately drives Alfred crazy. He starts babbling, just to hear something besides the sound of his own heart breaking.

“I’m sorry for making our friendship weird. I didn’t think this was gonna happen either. I started to notice about a year ago, because I felt really queasy and sad when I saw that albino German dude you’d hooked up with a few times walking out of your bedroom one morning. Then, you started dating Emma, and I felt the exact same way whenever you guys acted like a couple in front of me. At first, I thought I had some kind of latent biphobia problem, or maybe I’d developed a sudden prejudice against Europeans.”

Vinny snorts. “Fredo, that doesn’t sound like prejudice. It sounds like jealousy.”

“I know that _now_ , but I didn’t know that back then! I’d never gotten jealous before, because I’d never wanted to be _with_ anybody before! I had to talk to Kiku before I even realized why I was being such an asshole about all your relationships!” He doesn’t mean to yell at Savino, but he’s so upset that he’s shouting anyway. And he’s crying too, which he had narrowly avoided earlier. Fuck. This is rapidly turning into one of the worst days of Alfred’s life.

Alfred starts sobbing into his hands, and Savino gently peels them away from his face. “Tesoro, it’s okay. You’re not an asshole for getting jealous a few times. I didn’t even notice you _being_ jealous. You did nothing wrong.”

Alfred whimpers. He’s too distraught to even clean his glasses, which have fogged up with all his crying. He can still see Savino, but he looks blurry right now.

“If you knew what that nickname does to me and what you holding my hands does, you probably wouldn’t do that anymore,” Alfred says. God, that would hurt. Not getting to hug Savi again, even as a friend, because his stupid brain would want it to mean more than it did.

“You might be surprised, actually.” Savino smiles wryly. “You’re not the only one who’s been hiding things. God, when I first moved in, I had the world’s most pathetic crush on you.”

Alfred laughs wetly. “You did?”

Savino ducks his head to avoid making eye contact. “Yeah. I wasn’t exactly subtle about it. I’m pretty sure you didn’t notice only because you weren’t interested in anyone, so you wouldn’t be looking for that sort of thing. Then, when you came out to me, I knew I had to put my feelings aside. It doesn’t matter how much you like someone, if they can’t like you back, you’ve gotta respect that.”

“I’m too late,” Alfred concludes. “You liked me once, but you’re over me now.” It had been years since they first met. Whatever glimmer of potential they might have had was snuffed out long ago, by his own words. Alfred had believed he couldn’t fall in love or feel any kind of sexual attraction to anyone, but now he was facing down an imminent rejection from the only person he’s ever wanted this way.

Savino’s grip on his hands tightens, and he glares up at him. His angry hazel eyes are the most beautiful and possibly the most terrifying thing Alfred has ever seen. “I’m not saying I got over you, idiota. I’m saying that I tried to, because I thought that was my only option.”

Alfred smiles. “So, you do like me? Still? After all this time?”

Vinny sighs like he’s deeply, deeply exasperated and closes his eyes. “Unfortunately for my own sanity, yes.”

Alfred giggles. He’s so happy he can’t help himself. “Awesome.”

Savino opens his eyes to smile at him, and Jesus Christ. Alfred thought the annoyed glare at him a minute ago was the beautiful thing he’d ever seen, but right now, Savi’s smile is making him so dizzy he’s amazed he hasn’t passed out yet.

“What should we do now, caro? I love you, and I don’t want to put any pressure on you, especially if you’re still figuring things out.”

Alfred feels a little warmer after hearing Savino say he loves him too. It makes it a little more difficult to actually respond to his question.

“I’ve… uh, fantasized pretty extensively about you and things we might do when we’re together, so it’s not a question of not knowing what I want. But I think it would be easier for me, since I’ve never done anything before, if we went slower on the physical side of things.”

“Of course. I want you to be comfortable.” Savino’s thumbs rub comforting and very distracting circles over the back of Alfred’s hands.

“Emotionally, I’m all there. I’m ready for us to be boyfriends, to kiss you, to cuddle you, go on dates with you. Just not the sex thing, for now. But probably later.”

Vinny smirks. “The sex thing right this minute would be jumping the gun, even for me. We should at least kiss first.”

Alfred tilts his head down hopefully. “You could kiss me right now, if you wanna.”

Savino leans up the rest of the way to kiss him, and Alfred’s eyes flutter shut. It’s a soft, getting to know you kiss with partially open mouths and no tongue, but it is by far the most physically intimate thing Alfred has ever done with another person. His heart pounds in exhiliration, and he focuses on attempting to copy what Vinny is doing to him. During the kiss, Savino’s hands relax and fall away from his. One hand lands on his knee, and Alfred whines into his boyfriend’s mouth. That feels… really good. Savi’s hand starts to slide up his thigh with a firm, sure grip, and Alfred breaks the kiss, gasping for oxygen.

“Are you okay?” Vinny’s hand is still on his thigh, but it hasn’t gone any higher.

Alfred nods. “I really enjoyed that. I really, _really_ enjoyed that. A little too much near the end.” He glances down between them. “If your hand had moved half an inch higher, I would’ve gotten hard.”

“That easily, huh?” There’s a smug tone to his voice, but Savino pulls his hand away. “Is touching your shoulder fine?”

“Shoulder’s fine. Not as close to my dick, so hopefully not as much of an immediate trigger.”

Savino laughs so hard he has to lean into Alfred to keep from collapsing. “Hopefully?”

Alfred pouts. “It’s not my fault. You’re too frickin’ sexy. And since I’m not totally asexual, I get affected by that.”

“Wanna know a secret? I think you’re really sexy too.”

Alfred grins goofily in response to that, and he’s still smiling brightly when Savino leans in to kiss him again. This time, Vinny slips his tongue inside Alfred’s mouth, and Alfred groans and tightens his grip on Savino’s hair. Alfred can feel himself getting turned on, but it feels too good to stop. Maybe it’s okay if he gets hard making out with his boyfriend.

Savino’s tongue explores his mouth with the finesse of someone who’s French kissed people many times before, and Alfred can’t do much more than clumsily try to reciprocate and pant into Vinny’s mouth. Within seconds, Alfred gets hard from Savino kissing him so deeply, but he decides to ignore the aching need in his cock, which isn’t something he’s ready to deal with at the moment. He adjusts his legs to make himself more comfortable.

Savino pulls away eventually, and he’s flushed, mildly disheveled, and devastatingly gorgeous. Alfred’s chest fills up with pride, because he’s the one who made Vinny look like that. And his cock throbs in response, because, at least when it comes to Savino, Alfred is not asexual _at all_.

“That was incredible, but I think I need a break,” Alfred tells him. “Can we just lie down and cuddle for a while?”

“Cuddling sounds good.” Savino tugs on his arm, and Alfred obediently flops over sideways on the couch. Savino shifts closer, so close that their bodies are pressed together and he can definitely feel Alfred’s hard-on pushing up against his thigh. But he doesn’t mention it, which Alfred is grateful for.

Alfred wraps an arm around Savino and closes his eyes as he breathes in his boyfriend’s scent. “This is perfect. It’s exactly what I wanted.” And he’s wanted this for a really long time, longer even than when he started getting jealous of Savino’s partners. But back then, he thought the desire to cuddle Vinny was only due to extreme platonic closeness.

Savi presses a tiny kiss against his throat. “I’m glad I could give you what you want. Ti amo.”

“I love you too.”

They lie there for a while, simply cuddling and talking softly, and eventually, Alfred’s erection subsides. By the time he hears Tolys’s keys opening the front door, they’re both completely relaxed, and Savino is practically falling asleep in his arms.

Savino is too tired to move, and Alfred is too happy where he is to consider moving. So when Tolys opens up the front door, he immediately sees the pair cuddling on the couch. His eyebrows lift a little, and his mouth twitches in amusement.

“You have a good walk, Tolys?” Alfred asks casually, like he would on any other day.

“The weather was nice today. Judging by what I’m seeing right now, I’m guessing you guys talked while I was gone?”

“We did.” Alfred glances down at Savino. “We’re boyfriends, right babe?”

“Mmm-hmm. Boyfriends.” Savino yawns and nuzzles against his shoulder, and Alfred beams at him, and then at Tolys.

“He’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” Alfred declares, voice filled with glee, pride, and the effusive, irrational, completely non-platonic love he’d been trying to hide before today. He’s glad he doesn’t have to hide it anymore.

His happiness must be contagious, because Tolys grins too. “I’m glad things worked out for you guys. Is it cool if I hang out with you in the living room for a while?”

“Should be fine. It’s just cuddling, dude.”

Tolys chuckles as he leaves the room. He returns a moment later with a book he’d been reading for the past couple days and settles into an armchair that’s set up only a few feet away from the couch.

As Tolys reads, Savino falls asleep. His breathing gets noticeably slower and deeper. He starts mumbling in his sleep, and Alfred can’t understand what he’s saying since it’s all in Italian, but that doesn’t matter. Alfred gently rubs Savino’s back through his shirt and grins fondly at him.

“You know, Al, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy before.”

Alfred glances up at Tolys, who is peering at them over the top of his book. There’s a hint of curiosity in his eyes, but it’s subtle. Tolys is remarkably patient, and he isn’t the sort of person who would demand an explanation, even non-verbally.

Alfred shrugs. “I’ve never gotten to cuddle Vinny before. It’s nice. I wouldn’t want to be like this with anybody else, but with him, it just makes sense, you know?”

“Fair enough.” Apparently, all of his questions have been answered. Tolys turns back to his book and flips forward to a new page. “You should do whatever makes you happy,” he murmurs, mostly to himself.

Alfred gazes down at Savino, who is scowling in his sleep and muttering about a “bastardo,” and reflects that if he gets to keep cuddling Vinny and referring to him as his boyfriend, he’ll be happy for a long, long time.


End file.
